I preface tonight's teaching with the caveat that I do not have answers, but I do have questions. Perhaps you will have some insights you can share with me as we journey together on the topic of challenging the Pharaohs and dealing with difficult people.
This week I received an email about the persistent negative presence of a man and his table at the Sunday Farmer's market. If you have not visited the Sunday Farmer's market under the bridge downtown, please try to get there. There is nothing quite like the fresh smells of vegetables, fruit and flowers and the bustling happiness of folks who crave that kind of environment. Everything is close to perfection except for the troubling presence of a Jewish man and his table smack in the front of the market – you can't really miss him. His table and signs say Jews against Zionism and he is eager to dominate a conversation with anyone who ventures to talk with him. While I find his autocratic position challenging even if it were an "in-house” discussion, I find it loathsome in public. This is a difficult person, how are we supposed to deal with difficult people?
This week has been a very difficult week with the 7.0 earthquake in Haiti. Each day we learn more, see more and hopefully we respond more both in tzedakkah and prayers of the heart. And then there is Pat Roberston who blames the Haitians for the sins of their ancestors who he claims, made a pact with the devil to be free of the French.
Since them, Roberston claims, they've faced countless struggles. Not only is it reprehensible that Roberston speaks these words, but it makes me shudder that there are people who buy such malarkey. This is a difficult person, how are supposed to deal with difficult people?
This coming Monday marks the Birthday of Martin Luther King Jr who dedicated his adult life to the pursuit of justice, and inclusion of all men and women, of all races into voting ranks of every American citizen. He fought against white supremacists. He fought against fearful people stuck in their ways that liked segregation as a way of life and wanted to keep it that way. He fought against the biting dog, the police crowbar, the thousands of tax paying racists. These were difficult people, how do we deal with difficult people?
I always like to come back to the Torah – the best guide for life that I know. The living Torah is a decisive manual for proper conduct in our daily lives and it is explicit for how to handle difficult situations. The examples of dealing with difficult people and difficult situations are overflowing;
Think Adam and Eve; difficult situation with the apple, the snake and disobeying Garden rules. G-d asks "where are you?” and they hide. Their sons have difficulties; Cain has to deal with jealousy and the fact that his brother Abel does a better job in offering sacrifices. Cain's strategy ends his brother's life. Noah is told to build an ark because of the difficult situation of a sinful society – his response is agreement to construct the ark – but as soon as it's over, he gets drunk and humiliation colors his last days. Abraham is challenged by a King Abimalech who might think his lovely wife Sarah is worth a battle, so Abraham deals with him by lying and says that Sarah is just his sister.
Later Abraham has to deal with the difficult situation that G-d wants to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah. This time Abraham argues it out and tries to negotiate a deal to save the cities. It doesn't work but it was worth the moral debate.
Isaac faced difficulties when he favored Esau and his wife favored Jacob – a life time of battles. Jacob and Esau have difficulties over who is the favored son and yet reach out to each other in their adult years. And Joseph, child of Jacob will take the theme of reconciliation to the next level when he forgives his brothers. As Thomas Paine wrote: "These are times that try a man's soul” and it could fit for all times – then and now.
All of these efforts to deal with difficult people span from: hiding, giving in with resentment, lying when needed, negotiation, turning the other cheek, and forgiveness.
It is in this week and last week's portion that we see a new effort for dealing with difficult people take form and it happens because the old forms of change no longer worked. They could not just feel sorry about slavery in Egypt, nor could they become violent against the mighty Egyptian empire. What they had to do was learn lessons from the past examples then go home and organize.
Moses and Aaron are instructed to give Pharaoh a warning. If it is not heeded, then consequences occur. In this case, Moses and Aaron are to tell Pharaoh, exactly what plagues will befall Egypt if Pharaoh fails to "Let my people go.” G-d sent the legal team of Moses and Aaron to represent the Jewish nation and negotiate directly with Pharaoh. Remember Moses was 80 years old and Aaron was 83 – they were the seasoned statesmen whose task was to go into enemy territory to obtain a fair and just resolution.
Moses and Aaron put aside their fear and focused on winning the case. For Pharaoh, his stubbornness was his own undoing. Dealing with a person like Pharaoh – man who was sneaky and unremorseful, filled with empty promises required a strong backbone. G-d showed that applying pressure, from gradual to intense, was the proper technique to deal with ruthless people. Start with truthful exposes and make them public, then legal sanctions and move onto stiff penalties.
Recently Israel made the decision that too many terrorists were getting into Israel from Egypt. While Egyptian security forces had caught some terrorists, the threat was constant. Taking matters into their own hands, they are erecting a barrier much to the anger of her enemies.
Calling Israel racists for the barrier, nonetheless, protecting her citizens from terrorist attacks is first and foremost. This plan took years of thinking, and negotiation, but ultimately who but Israel will protect Israel?
When we pay attention to Torah – we witness the development of how individuals manage difficult people and difficult situations. There is not just one method but there are some key points. Here are four:
One is that we have to shed the fallacy that something bad is just going to pass – to get the world how we'd like it to be requires recognizing the world as it is. The second is that all effective actions require the passport of morality. And third, a major revolution to be won needs us to dissipate the illusion that our own welfare can be separate form that of all others. And four, as in our parasha this Shabbat – when we work collaboratively like Moses along with Aaron, we gain much more power.
Pharaoh show up in many guises – but one thing is common; Pharaoh is very difficult to deal with until we have a strategic plan. May we take the power of this week's teaching – and may it give us clarity and strength to achieve the right path and victories in life. Amen